Where Bare Soles
Meet Pure
Laughter

"Michigan" Mike Flynn and "Arizona" Aaron Farris were two of the biggest rivals in archaeology. Both taking after their boyhood idol, Indiana Jones, they were young, brash guys with a passion for rare antiquities and an adventurous streak on top of it all. Always trying to one-up the other, they constantly competed for the same treasures in dangerous, exotic places.

One hot, steamy afternoon in the South American jungle, Michigan Mike was wandering through an especially dense patch of forest when all of the sudden they were surrounded by natives. They tied his hands, blindfolded him, and led him to what sounded like a village. He could hear the chatter of voices all around, but one in particular stood out. He recognized it immediately. It was Arizona Aaron, his nemesis.

Mike was laid down on a table, his legs tied down to it. Once he was firmly secured, only one person remained: Arizona Aaron.

"So, Michigan Mike, my old friend. Looks like you've gotten yourself into a perilous situation again," Aaron quipped.

Just then, Mike could feel his shoelaces being undone, followed by the removal of his shoes one by one. Then he could feel Aaron grab his socks at the toes, and slowly pull them both off. A few moments passed. Just then, Mike felt a sensation that literally sent shockwaves through his body. Aaron was gently running his index finger upwards along the sole of Mike's right foot.

"AHHHHH!" Mike yelped. "Oh, so you ARE ticklish, huh Mike?" Aaron teased.

Aaron's fingers slowly but surely probed Mike's right sole, gliding gently along his arch from his heel to his toes and back down again. "You've sure got some baby soft feet for such a tough guy, Mikey. Tickle tickle!" Aaron taunted.

Mike winced as Aaron's fingers picked up their pace, dancing all across his soles. He couldn't hold it in any longer. "HAHAHAHAHA!!!!" Mike belted out, his giggling turning into full-blown laughter.

"What's so funny, Mikey? Are you enjoying this or something?" Aaron sneered mockingly. "Kiss my ass, Aaron! Just wait until I get out of here!"

Aaron then turned his attention to Mike's left foot, which happened to be even more ticklish than the right one. He moved his tickling fingers up to the area at the base of Mike's toes, which instantly caused Mike's body to thrash. "PLEHEHEHEASE. Sto-HA-HA...STOP IT! ARRGHH!"

"Okay, tell you what, Mikey. I'll stop if you tell me where the Aztec gold is located." Aaron promised. "Come on man, you know I worked my ass off for two years trying to find that gold. You think I'm going to just give it away in a few minutes? You're freaking crazy!" Mike retorted.

Then came the worst thing that could have ever happened to Mike. Aaron had done his homework, learning that Mike was hyper-ticklish on the tops and sides of his feet. "HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! NOOOOO!!!! I CAN'T TAKE THAT!!! PLEAHEHEHEASE STOP!!!" Mike begged.

"Okay, okay, you BASTARD! I'll talk!! HAHAHA!! Please just stop tickling my feet!!!" Mike finally confessed — giving Aaron a location that was FAR from the real one. A grin spread out across Mike's face as he walked into the sunset, knowing full well he'd sent Arizona Aaron on a wild goose chase. Deep down, he honestly hoped he'd be on the receiving end of a tickle torture session from Arizona Aaron again someday.

"Michigan" Mike Flynn had long dreamt of encountering his rival "Arizona" Aaron Farris again. During their last meeting, Aaron had thoroughly tickle tortured Mike's bare feet to find out the secret location of the lost Aztec gold. It had been both the biggest dream and nightmare of his life all at the same time.

Cut to six months later. Mike was deep in a jungle in India searching for the Shield of Shiva. As he proceeded down a long, dark tunnel, he noticed hieroglyphics on the walls — images of priests standing over victims tied down in stocks, their fingers touching the soles of their victims' feet. He had a sudden flashback to that hut in the jungle. He knew what he wanted: to be tickled by Aaron again, and then to return the favor.

Just then, Mike heard voices ahead — and what vaguely sounded like laughter. In the front of a huge temple was a man on his back, lying on a table. His hands were tied above his head, and his bare feet were bound in stocks. The Thugees' tickle victim was Aaron!

"ARGHHH!!! HAHAHAHA!! STO-HAHAHAHA-PPP!!!" Aaron screamed as the priests tickled his soles mercilessly.

Mike pulled out his pistol, leapt from behind his rock perch, and scattered the Thugees. Mike and Aaron were alone at last — with Aaron still bound barefoot in stocks.

"You know what, Aaron. You're right, we did get off on the wrong foot. Mine," Mike said intently.

Mike reached down and slowly ran his finger along the sole of Aaron's right foot. By the time Mike's fingers reached the base of Aaron's perfectly shaped toes, he exploded with laughter. "AHHHHHH!!!!! OH SHIT THAT TICKLES!!!"

To Mike, it was the single most beautiful sound he had ever heard. Mike tickled Aaron's size 11's for what seemed like well over an hour, then pressed his face close to Aaron's soles. Aaron's soles looked great, smelled great, and tasted great.

As he slowed it down, the laughter turned to all-out moaning. Mike leaned close, bringing his face within a foot of Aaron's, and gently kissed Aaron's lips.

"Are you...you know?" Aaron asked. "Yeah." "Yeah, me too." "Good to know."

Mike untied Aaron and released his feet from the stocks, giving each foot a kiss. They made out in the tunnel for what seemed like ages. "Well....until the next time, Michigan Mike," Aaron said confidently, before running off down the corridor. Mike knew he had been had. Again. But still, he didn't regret the experience for a moment.

"Michigan" Mike Flynn woke up at 3AM in a cold sweat. Another night — another intimate dream about "Arizona" Aaron Farris. He needed something to lure Aaron out from the shadows. And then it came to him: The Feather of the Pharaohs — rumored to have been used in ancient times to punish the opponents of the Pharaohs by tickling their feet and forcing them to submit.

Mike quickly booked a flight to Cairo. His contact Sallah explained that to open the safe holding the Feather inside the Great Pyramid, you had to lay on a stone bed and place your bare feet inside two holes in the wall — and endure a solid four hours of tickle torture.

On the seventh day of exploring, Mike found the chamber. He removed his shoes and socks, sat down on the hard bed, and reluctantly inserted both of his bare feet into the holes.

"ARRGHHH! NO FREAKING WAY!! Nothing can tickle THAT much! HAHAHA!! This had better be worth it!"

Hours passed. Mike was still unable to stop laughing. Then, out of his worst nightmares, "Arizona" Aaron Flynn crawled into the room. "Well well well. Look at what we have here! You havin' fun, Mikey?"

Aaron sat down next to Mike's head and gently kissed him on his lips, continuing to kiss Mike while he laughed. After four hours, the tickling suddenly stopped. A loud rumble filled the room and another chamber door opened to reveal the Feather of the Pharaohs — there it sat in all its golden glory.

"Go ahead man. Take it. The whole reason I came here was to get to you," Mike said.

"Mike, I want you to tickle me with this," Aaron said. Mike tied Aaron down and ran the Feather up and down his torso, then slowly down toward Aaron's bare feet. "NO!! Not my feet!!" Aaron pleaded.

"AHHHH!!! NOOOOOO!!!! PLEEEEEEASE NOOO!!!" Aaron yelled as Mike ran the Feather across every curve of his high-arched soles, between his toes, and back again for a couple of glorious hours.

Aaron grabbed Mike and threw him down on the sleeping bag, kissing him deeply and passionately. They walked toward a hotel, chatting as they went. "Mike, I'm falling for you." "You don't know how glad I am to hear you say that." Mike knew that this was the start of a new day for both of them — archaeologists, friends, and lovers.

For over a month, over forty men had vanished into thin air from the Phoenix area. In each video sent to their loved ones, the missing man was sitting with his bare feet prominently displayed for the camera. The only thing one escaped man would say was "It tickled. It tickled so much" — over and over again.

It was an archaeological award ceremony that had brought Mike Flynn — Michigan Mike — to Phoenix. It was a piece of really good news in a really bad year. About five months prior, Aaron Farris, Mike's boyfriend of four years, had abruptly broken up with him. Mike was heartbroken and had no idea why.

After the awards ceremony, Mike heard about the escaped man being found near Camelback Mountain. Sensing a badly needed adventure, Mike set off into the desert night. He noticed footprints leading straight up to a medium-sized boulder, pushed it aside, and crawled through into a passage. He faintly heard the sound of laughter — the kind of laughter that would erupt from him any time he was tied and tickled on his feet.

He emerged into an entire underground city nested within Camelback Mountain. Then: WHACK.

Mike regained consciousness tied to a table, his boots removed. Standing before him was Brett Boston, a former college adversary. And next to Brett — staring at Mike with a strange grin — was Aaron. Brett had used the Eye of Anubis, a golden artifact with hypnotic powers, to control every man in the city. Including Aaron.

Brett stripped Mike's socks from his size 10 feet and attacked his naked soles with spider tickles, driving Mike into hysterics for hours. Mike spent the night being tickled mercilessly — before ultimately devising an escape. He found the Eye of Anubis under Brett's bed and pointed it at Aaron for five seconds.

He watched Aaron's face transform from stoned indifference into the man he knew — the one he had fallen in love with. Aaron looked at Brett, looked at Mike, and threw a right hook that would have made Mike Tyson proud.

"You broke up with me. You told me you needed to live your life without me," Mike said. "No. I didn't break up with you. I would never leave you," Aaron promised.

They kissed. Then went room to room, freeing each man with the Eye of Anubis. Brett spent the next several hours being tickle tortured by every man in the city until he passed out from laughter and exhaustion.

When the men all emerged from the tunnel, it was sunset — one of the most beautiful Arizona sunsets imaginable. Mike and Aaron walked toward it hand in hand, reunited at last, and more determined than ever to spend the rest of their lives together.